and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
