My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
