saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
