yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
