Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
