party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
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you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
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Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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