Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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