So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
