what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.