does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.