I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"