I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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