I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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