He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
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For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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