My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
