U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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