I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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