Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
