Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
