Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
