do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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