69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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