No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize