I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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