Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
