I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
