I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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