If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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