hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize