I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
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Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
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Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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