I want to have your abortion
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
