My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
