where am i from again
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
