its not stalking. its research.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
