But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
