I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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