; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
