Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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