Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
