How'd it feel making her break her religion?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
