im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
