is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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