So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
