I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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