Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
