small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize