Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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