just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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