sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
