Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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