i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
