i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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