Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
