What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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