pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All the doctor said was why
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
