For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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