you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
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He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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