Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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