Please, let me fuck your mom
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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