I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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