I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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